The latest bulletin from the International news agency, Liberal Islamic Apologists Reporting (L.I.A.R) has revealed the urgent and deeply concerning situation in Gaza, where literally thousands of schoolchildren, young adults and senior citizens are dying of thirst. Ever since the Israelis decided to rest and leave the Palestinians alone for a bit the humanitarian crisis has just got worse and worse.
Some children as young as twelve years old have not had a drink of even one drop of Israeli blood for weeks now, and Israel and the conservative West appear to be doing nothing to help the situation.
One reporter has described the shocking conditions in Gaza where he noticed small gangs of children drifting around helplessly, searching for one piece of comforting propaganda that could help them to satisfy their hunger for Jewish lies, and their thirst for Zionist attempts to conquer the World, but without an Islamic propagandist education and without the availability of Israelis that are willing to risk their lives, there is simply nothing for the people to do.
“The crisis here is shocking”, said one schoolteacher, who wished to remain anonymous,
“The Israelis bombed our school two weeks ago and the children have had nowhere to go. Well, when I say the Israelis bombed our school, it was really an accident that occurred in the chemistry lab during bomb-making lessons, but if the Israeli blockade hadn’t stopped us having access to decent modern chemicals instead of having to use crude home-made devices then this tragedy would not have occurred!”
Gaza has had problems like this in the past when in September 2007, the IDF stopped going anywhere near the Strip as they decided they needed a break. Hundreds of stone-throwing Palestinians lined the streets in protest and threw their stones at each other as they couldn’t find one Israeli to throw at. But now things are just as depressing.
“The situation is so bad”, said 19 yr. old Mohammad, “that I feel really suicidal. Life like this is not worth living. I would kill myself if I could but unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find one Jew that I could take with me!”
Another young Gazan resident has told the International press that things have become so bad that at one point he even considered getting himself a decent job.
“I thought of working on a market stall selling fruit and vegetables to the local people but then I realise that I would have to get up really early in the morning, so I couldn’t face it. What is really shocking is that until the school closed down, I was studying for a really promising career as a suicide bomber but now it looks as if I will have to put my studies on hold until these evil Israelis send us money to rebuild our school again. I did think of looking for some other honest work but then I asked myself what would our beloved Prophet have done (peace be upon him) and I realised that being a lazy and reckless man, he would not have approved!”
News of the latest Gazan crisis has infuriated the Western World where in London, hundreds of protestors took to the streets and blamed the violent Israelis for not allowing themselves to be sitting ducks in the interests of the Palestinian cause. One female protestor told reporters that what the Israelis have done is disgusting and that they should not be interfering with the Palestinians rights to Muslim indoctrination or their need to satisfy their blood lusts.
“Holocaust denial and Molatov-tossing is something that the Palestinians should have the freedom to enjoy,” she said, “and the sooner the imperialist Israelis are defeated, the better.”
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